Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

PTC is total crap. Shouldn't have went in the first place. And yeah, talk and talk about my lousy results and asking questions i don't have answers to. I don't even know what the hell got into me lah. So yea, everything's gonna be taken away from me. Everything's my fault, all the problems lie in me i know. My bad, my fault, everything also put the blame on me lah. Since you guys want me to produce results and nothing else matters anymore. I shall give up everything i have now. I'm gonna spend the holidays doing homework, happy? I will quit attending netball, i will not hang out with my friends anymore, i will not talk to anyone so as to not drain my brain capacity. All i'm gonna do in to drown myself in studies. Wake up, eat, sleep, study, do homework. That will be my daily routine. Satisfied? If that's not enough i can even stop msning or smsing or talking on the phone. You drove me up the wall, i've no where to go already. I'm just gonna study and study. And stop all communication with anybody else. I shall only talk to my books and worksheets. If you want me to be like that, i can. And maybe, i will. Just wait and see.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Still waiting for the right time to show my results. And i'm running out of time already. Physical conditioning yesterday and today. Killer, my neck's aching, and blisters burst. Looks kinda gross now. Celine and Jennifer was walking like some drunkards due to their muscle aches on the way to the market. From left can walk until right, front can walk till back. And after eating, the duo can't get up, and i guess including zirui as well. Basketball-ed to volleyball-ed to watching a cat eat. Hahaha, plenty of laughters today, till everyone's abs hurt. School, slept in form class and didn't went to 2/2 for HMT. Music was ghostly till i can't sleep properly. So noisy. Reversi-ed, but lost all. Was winning at the first half, then the second half die. Lost to yiqing, first timer, but with help of Xenia and Lyn, by one pathetic seed. Break my heart man. Then walked to the toilet at the other end and then assembly. Darn cold in the hall i swear, didn't managed to sleep. Off to complete science presentation though i'm so freaking tired. Damn, and PTC is like a few days away. Holiday training, not to mention, is even worse man. Not even a week's break. Darn.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Just a conversation with you can get me so freaking pissed. You just don't get my language. That's why sometimes i rather face my comp than you. I have nothing in common with you to talk about already. You always say you want my time, and when i give it to you by trying to talk to you, you ignore me. Hais. Results, i really don't know how to break the news. None of my results will be good enough for you guys. You think i want this kinda results yea? Can't help it if things get harder by the day, its natural my results will drop. Its no longer like P1 or P2, where scoring full marks is so damn easy, even for maths. That was years ago, things do change... I should have never scored in the first place, at least my life will be easier now. Never mind, who cares about this anyway? Its just a small matter within all of you. I shall just stop ranting here. I tried. I gave it all. I don't know what you guys want.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Sighs, things didn't get any better today. After recess began to sleep for every lesson. And Ms Karim was crapping away, and at the word surrogate parents i officially fell asleep. In the end people from all around me got to wake me up, cos Ms Karim spotted me i think. I don't know, i was asleep. And mother tongue and what shit, KFC-ed with S.P.Y and homed. So moodless now. And Monday no PE, no need run 2.4. Fail or whatever, don't care already lah. I'm so tired of everything. I've lived 14 years of my life, and i guess i had enough. I've no intentions of getting my driving license or giving birth or fnding a job. I've loved, and that's enough. I just want a simple life, this world is getting far more complicated, even a degree can't get you anywhere now. Now i know what the world got to end, for things to start all over again, perhaps its not as bad as what others think. Why does things have to be so complicated?

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Since everyone's talking about results, i should too. I don't know how i should deem my results. But however good results you get, you're never gonna be satisfied with it. There's no one blog i went that the person is happy with his/her results. Hais, passing is so hard now. Just wondering how to break the news. Okay, i shall stop thinking about it now, leave it till later. Tomorrow is another round of trauma, i don't feel like going to school at all. Put on a fake smile and everything will be soon over. Trying not to be unhappy, but if this is all i can get when i've already tried my best, there's nothing much i can do about it already. My brain is so messed up i don't know what to type, so screwed up. Continue perhaps tomorrow, if i'm not dead due to tomorrow's heart attack. Off to talk to God. :)

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Out yesterday with Celine, Joel and Lionel, supposedly to be playing basketball. Lunched first, at the japanese food court at north point. Was like deciding so long where to go, standing at the entrance of macs. Then bused to near joel's house and basketball-ed, 2 vs 2. Hahaha, funny much with lionel and celine shouting around. Played awhile then off to joel's house. Watched " Meet The Spartans" , which was like kinda sick, and no link at some parts, but it's still funny lah, with the fat guys. And then it got so cold with joel's two fans and aircon, practically freezed in there. Lionel left after the show without saying bye bye. Then played dj max on joel's psp and celine chatted with his junior telling him the siew mai joke which he, apparently didn't quite understand. Pillow and bolster fought alittle, messing up joel's room. Dinner at 6.30pm at KFC. Cheesefries was being passed around, and of course i lost to them both in arguing lah. Arcade awhile and then homed. Joel and me to interchange, celine the other way to take her bus.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Last paper on monday, no more sleepless nights anymore. Late night calls and smsing returns. I don't really know how life during the holidays will be like, just slacking around at home like the usual holidays? Or out roaming around aimlessly? I've been spending nights trying to figure out how my life's gonna be after the exams. But i've really no idea. Mixing with the usuals, back to smo**ing and drinking life? I hope not. I wanna spend time with you. :/ Grah, i'm going back to doing timetable and saving my conduct grade. Tag replies: joel : yeah, definitely. C SQUARE! : Hmm, its still there though. :) Yeah, it will disappear as soon as it sees you. (: XENIA : Hehheh! See this Celine? Xenia does not agree with you being angelic! Nah, not really. :D

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Was in a terribly tired state today, cos i slept at 2.30am today morning, and woke up an hour and a half later, at 4am. I studied okay, but maths was not effective, still total flunk. Dnt is quite okay i guess, since i wasn't really stuck at any questions. Barely scraped through maths in sec 1, 53/100. Hah, i wonder what my grade will be this year, disastrous i bet. I don't know how many test i've failed already, geog, science, maths. Teacher talked to parents about conduct and grades already, i don't know what's next. Revision day tomorrow, not going anywhere i guess. But confirm to be sleeping in to make up for my sleep lost today. And, i got an orhceh on my shoulder. :D

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Everything's going against me, Loco Roco's dead. It just keep hanging and shutting down. Damn it, any kind souls out there to help me download one again? I'll be very grateful. And yeah, yesterday was a sleepless night again. And at 2am, i really couldn't stand being so alone in my own thoughts. And decided to sms someone, to try my luck and see if the person replies. And thank God, that person actually replied. Then we talked for awhile, before it started to thunder and rain. And it got too comfy for that person and he/she fell asleep. -.- Went through my maths test paper today, and realised most of my mistakes were careless ones. Damn it, i shouldn't have failed the test in the first place. Probably mugging tomorrow again. Sighs, i'm bored. Tag replies: C SQUARE! : Gee, thanks. But i will end up starting my sentences with but or however again. -.- Hahaha, modern witches have neat hair now. Nope, they are loco rocos i'm sure. *winks* lyn : finally found someone that agrees with me. (: XENIA : too lame already so i never play, not like you so no life. :D

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Didn't had a good sleep yesterday night, just can't fall asleep. And i had to resort to hugging my pooh, which i usually don't, cos its quite an immature act. But it helps, felt more secured and peaceful, hehe. Too much thoughts killing me. And when i got out of bed i began to play loco roco on my psp before i on-ed the comp. I don't know what got into me, so kiddy all of a sudden. And i found some pink and blue and red loco rocos. Supposed to be doing a timetable, but, I won't even follow it, so why do it? All for the sake of my conduct grade i have to, cos i'm gonna get a fair or bad if i don't. Exams are here already, i'm still not kanchiong yet, taking things as they come. I don't even feel guilty at all. Whatever, i'm off. Tag replies: C SQUARE! : Hah, only witches keep long nails, tell me how not to freak out. (: XENIA : Yeah, i'm evil. But at least i admit, not like you, always anyhow hit people. Lyn : Cos that person not really my friend mah, so never mind lah. :D jessica : Someone told me its 3 years.what must come will come de lah. Haha, you see already also will happy okay, not me only. C SQUARE! : Long story... Not going to post it here on my blog. Yeah, its saddening, but then, just can't help it. D:

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

English was fine, but i'm prepared to screw up history. I studied to fail, whatever, what's over is over. I've no more energy to care about such trivial stuffs. And yeah, my life's screwed up. I just don't know how to appreciate what i've got till i've lost them. How many times had this happened, i ask myself. So yeah, i've nothing now, its impossible to get it back, what i've lost had been picked up by somebody else instead. And this is just gonna start all over again.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

I don't know what the hell i'm doing blogging here instead of mugging. Nobody's updating their blogs anymore, but i shall. So, higher mother paper today, was pretty much free after the test. First time i had time to check, but my zuo wen and si han are kinda crappy. Hahaha, was feeling happy that the person siting on my right didn't managed to finish his si han, kinda evil i know. So, on to english tomorrow and higher mother tongue paper 2 too. I'm still not feeling stressed up, i'm such a calm and composed person. Hehe. I only felt nevous just before the test itself. And i found out there are people drinking redbull just before the test just like me. :D Okay, its getting late. 我就此搁笔，余言在叙. That was the ending i used for my si han. Not bad eh?

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Post before i'm off to mug, serious this time. Well, been going home straight after schools nowadays since there's practically no where else i can go. Its either the bbt shop opposite school or the coffee shop. And just slack down there and idle away with my class girls. But, i don't know why, i just don't enjoy idling with them. I just don't feel right... I don't feel as if i belong. I don't talk about the topics they do, i only listen, and it gets boring sometimes. Always feeling people have their own friends, and i should not meddle and try to fit in. It doesn't work anyway. I rather talk to a dog, at least it listens. No one to rely on, this world is selfish. Its just you and you only, personal credits and all. But Jesus the saviour is gonna end this once and for all, Jesus is taking all of us back. Just 3 more years, i'll wait for the day, when He frees us all from the miseries of the stone cold world. But will he recreate us again? Treasure everything you've got now, be glad for everything given around you. For after 3 years, all will be gone.