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Training today. Nothing much to say about it. But jiayou for the match against SCGS on tuesday. I can't bring myself to study, even if my mind wants to. Procrastinating again. Drowning myself in redbull the day before the tests. Just came back from pungol. Visited relatives, probably one of the reasons i can't study, still in new year mood. Drank some wine too. Grah, i'm in no mood to post. some other days perhaps. till then.

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Changed sitting arrangement again, but to me, i'm fine with anything. Post removed. (only replying to some, cos some are way overdued) Tag replies: ASSHOLE!: Scolded that idiot already. Xenia: Lols, someone's using your name. Yiqing: woah, first time you tagging. same to you too. :D ASSHOLE!: hahaha, you are one of those people! Qingyi: Jiayou for your zonals too. Joel: i'm okay already. Thanks. Lyn: hahah, you say yo then i say hello? Unknown09: Alright, i will surely treasure this year alot. Okay, i shall smile because of your tag. :D Yileee: oh really? i didn't really notice how your coach looked like though. ASSHOLE!: updated! Qingyi: thanks, you too. return your tag already i guess. Joel: don't have big feast eat la. Sorry la, eat already so late went to sleep already. xenia: updated. :D Eila: you are welcome. l0llies: i got tell you meh? but updated already la C Square!: you are? Qingyi: hahaha, don't be la. at most i don't say it anymore.

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Yesterday's match against bishan park was a fine one, but quite a handful aren't playing their best yet.Won with a score of 40-6. Tomorrow's game against St Margs will be a better one! All the way C'div. Went for line dancing after coming back from match. I was relieved that i participated, i didn't regret it AT ALL. I learnt alot, not line dancing, but important life lessons. Thanks alot. I haven't realised that i was making so many wrong decisions. I found someone that i can actually talk to, someone that understands how i feel. I've found the light, but this solution is not forever, i have to treasure this year. For this is the year of changes.

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Grah, i don't know what to post. Congrats to: - Monessha -Celine - Enqi - Qianyan - Yunrou - Jennifer -Dingran - Alicia - zirui - valerie - yiqing

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

I'm trying to be more optimistic, and keep those negative thoughts at bay. I tend to have alot of negative thoughts, due to the constant reflecting and self-checking. Perhaps i'm thinking too much about what others say and what people think, that i even lose my own self. But what can i do? I've overworking hormones that changes how i think and how i act, making me some kinda like freak that doesn't act like how normal 14 year old should. And i was having cramps till i can't talk during the whole of science period. But with qianyan's magical tablets during recess, i got better. Try it, instant results. Thanks for all the concern, esp Celine, Yiqing, Xenia and love. I'm not looking forward to learning journey nor the bridge building thing, it's kinda lame. Andand, South Zone's coming, skirts for us! Tag replies: Joel: I'm lazy to do so. Sorry, i didn't know you were still waiting. Qingyi: I guess so, you cheer up yourself too, hope things are getting on track. ...: Ican't rely on those happy thoughts anymore, its time i get a move on in life. someone: :) someone 2: I wish to pass each day with a smile too, but it's not that easy to actually do that. someone 3: I know i'm not, but i'm just trying to make everyone happy. perhaps if they feel happy, i will be happier too. someone 4: Alright, i will find someone i can talk to, and lift everything from my shoulders. Thanks for that compliment. someone 5: Hahaha, alright. :D Xenia: Will do so. And take care of your ankle! Speedy recovery! ASSHOLE: Yeah, you are cute, face round round de. Hehheh. ASSHOLE!: hey, don't! it hurts! Don't be sad over me, its not worth it. Hey, don't waste your tears on me, i'm not worthy of it. Leave it for someone else. :D Joel: thanks for all your tag, i already cheered up quite a little. Die Silently: it's hard to explain in words. Don't worry, i will find someone to talk to. Celine: You do it for me? I'm lazy! no la, where have la. You my friend can ask for special request. hahaha. Qingyi: i've been hanging on, too much that i wanna give up. But i know the tide will turn. you cheer up too. Jessica: :D i shall be positive! Wintermute: like who? Joel: thanks! Xenia: i'm not emo, i just have alot of thoughts. Lollies: what thing suan le? Joel: Thank for that reminder! ASSHOLE!: That was only one of the many reasons. i shall tell you what she told the others about me. You will be surprised.

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There's nothing to rejoice over these past days, everything is just so saddening, especially today. I was practically tearing when ms yeo shared her feelings. I guess things are really going too hard on her, and we aren't helping her to lighten her burden. I don't want to think about it anymore, but, i'm really sorry for the way i treated her. 我真的很抱歉. 我不知道你为了我们而受了那么多的委屈. 我知道一句对不起不算什么,我会以行动表示我的歉意. 请对我有信心. And netball at 4, and coach keep making comparison. 我知道我们比不上他们,可是我们会继续努力. Tag replies another day, sorry!

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我好想放弃.生活已不存什么意义了. I'm tired of all that's happening. I've been trying to make everything alright, but i realise i can't please everybody at the same time. I've no more to give. I need a rest, and time to cope. Everything has been happening too fast, i can't catch up with reality, and i've been consoling myself with the past. I've too much on my shoulders, and i just can't leave them and run away to start anew, it's no longer possible anymore. I wish to give up everything i have now just to make everyone happy, but how? You think i'm happy, but i'm not. My smiles, are only skin deep. You don't know how much my heart aches, you just don't know. My feelings can't be expressed through words, i might as well stop here.

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Nothing much today, except that there's alot of homework for art. Maths was okay, i understood what was taught. And, i don't know what to do with my fringe, pin it up during english tomorrow, or just leave it alone. And i doubt i will be doing my chinese homework. Letter writing tomorrow, oh great. Training today was alright. I got very worn out after the run, i seriously need to get my fitness back. Combined trainings with B'div. And mrs ong's not coaching us anymore, guess we will be having ms joan too. And there's most likely trainings on saturdays for the first term, what's life becoming? It's eating into my personal life. Grah, all for the sake of the zonals. Off to do maths!

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I haven't really blogged since school reopened. Changed form teachers, the male one's okay, the other one keeps finding trouble with everything since the first day of school. She changed my seat, away from the window, i guess my day dreaming days are over. She caught my hair too, for two consecutive days, guess i've to pin up up tomorrow, or perhaps, during her periods. And, i've been waiting. My patience is running out fast. Don't promise me in the first place if you can't fulfil it, it hurts alot more if you break it. I rather you not promise at all. I've given up hope on you. Tag replies: Qingyi: i don't want sit beside xenia cause she's a big bully! Ms Yeo never catch your fringe you of course say she good la. ASSHOLE! : Hahaha, okay. When can go? I wanna see your dogs! Plus your cute sisters too. :) Qingyi: Updated already.