Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

this blog will be down temporarily. i need to settle some things. but the tagboard will still be alive. till then people, miss me.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

today hadn't been too constructive. only in the morning, 7.30am on a saturday morning. i woke up, bathed and studied immediately, skipping my breakfast totally. i was actually in the mood to study, hmmm, answered prayers? but then, only managed to study 45 minutes of maths, well, its better than nothing. not even covering one chapter of maths, i felt on the verge of breaking down. i don't know how i became such a weakling in the first place. my mind was blank, i felt sick. what more can be better? and just now, i quarrelled with my mum. damn annoyed. people sitting down here use comp, she want come attitude me?!!! i just cant stand adults nowadays. same goes with teachers. all a bunch of assholes.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i seriously have to stop procrastinating! all day long, i keep thinking there's later for everything, till its too late. i guess i haven't really learnt my lesson. the consequences are really too much to pay. i don't really know what's my current state now, i think i'm going bonkers. is not that i'm too stressed out, but i'm not having a sense of urgency, PSLE's a good example, playing basketball when i'm supposed to attend lessons. and when i made up my mind to study, it always wanders off to somewhere else. i think too much when i have peace and quite, all alone. and if i can maintain my current position is class, it will already be a miracle. oh lord, help me concentrate on my studies please. i need to set a goal. but perhaps, it may all be too late. i need to get my mind in the right state, and drop everything that troubling me outside the house, and maybe pick them up again when i have the time. get rid of distractors too, maybe, no chats for me till the exams' over. ohwell, i shall go fix my mind now, seeya people. tag replies: ASSHOLE! : girly's good, you will get loads of boyfriends! and of course, i rock! hahha, ego here. and yeap, ytd was a good day, but days ahead's gonna be horrendous with FYE! work hard! die silently : hey, long time no see! you deleted your blog? changed your number anot? hahha, yea, went dating. you got a bf alr? tag often ah, keep in touch. and come teach me maths someday! HRH. jes =] : just shut your crap up. i know what to do. don't meddle in my affairs, go mind you and your MR lah. puoyen : okay lah, dont say you sick already. that section is educational de hor. i asked you to grab a comic, but is you suay suay got like that hor! i'm not bad, don't believe go ask asshole, hahha

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

today is a good day! lets start from after school! for those who know, i went out with, err, lets call him spy. went macs at mayflower park. was supposed to study there. ordered food. very funny, ask me what i want, all i say is anything and whatever. haha, and in the end, the burger have the raw vegetable, so exchanged. drank sprite, spy drank milo. changed to another table halfway through. did maths paper giving by spy, did about 5 don't know how to do alr, somemore almost all is he do de. gave up on maths, he also.do geog, halfway, started crapping. ate cold fries, spy didnt want eat order so much! then the sun came out, too hot, decided to leave. joked alot there! went to playground, didnt really played anything, because too hot! climbed up the spider web and down again, spy shook the spider web! argh, managed to get down safe and sound, but spy was trapped inside. say what his pants will rip. went opposite to the library, see if can see familar mfps or amkss peeps there. walked around the first floor searching and then up to the second floor. settled at the teenagers section. have books about puberty, talk sick awhile and then went the other part. walked into the tamil book section, alamak saw seniors, so suay. and spy told me they were laughing, esp the black one, i nvr see the black one, so fake fake walk pass to go out, alamak, another senior. saw them laugh lor, so mean! went to the chem chem books sections, sat down and started reading. after long time, decided to leave the library. went to borrow the book. finish already, went out, so hot! and then came back in, didnt know where to go. went up again, see see and then came down again. went to comics section, found books, sat down to read. spy got kinda a sick comic? while i got garfield and baby blues. read awhile and spy was tired and i was sian diao. decided go hub walk. left library and walked to hub. our bags damn heavy! walked around aimlessly, and he was just literally following wherever i went? no life lor, ask him want go where also say dont know. walked around awhile, decided to go home. walked with spy to the bus stop, and said byebye. walked our separate ways. walk not far he sms already. the end, that's all that happen.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

exams nearing, about two weeks, still no sense of urgency. i can still spend time on the number one distrator, the computer! it may be a distrator, but i was attracted to it. blame not the computer, but myself. this shows a lack of self control and self discipline. and the root of it, my attitude towards things. just not serious enough, still dozing off in class. oh lord, i need help. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. 10.59pm

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

played with lanterns and candles and sparkles yesterday! hahha,i have no childhood. had fun with cousins. especially with one of my older biao ge, we get along well. think that's because we have common topics to talk about. drank beer and wine, and ate peanuts. my brother was so lame as to start a rain, made out of peanut shells. reached home at 12am plus. today, woke up at 8am plus. ate beancurd, kinda gooey? then went to cut hair. *poof* and my fringe's gone! sibei regret go cut hair la. argh, never mind, it will growww. hair ah hair, faster grow lah. look like some kind of nerd now, wth. typed at 2.25pm

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

today is a good day. morning, after assembly, mrs ong caught me for my ORANGE rubberband! she shout my name until so loud,somemore still pull my hair. want me change immediately. i don't know if she said she wanted to see me again anot, but i saw her downstairs looking up. hmmm. slack during english, some guys wrote some sick words on another guy's paper and was caught, hoho, i stop doing worksheet and watched. then practise a little oral, stopped halfway. chinese, had SSRP, walked pass all the classrooms just to get to the toilet. and used the period to figure out celine's chinese name, and how to write. wrote on my hand! history sleep literature sleep, sms and go toilet talk recess with the usuals after school, did D&T for quite long, busy like shit. then went art room with celine and momo, crapped and did work, celine was exceptionally quiet during art. after art, went to foyer play piano. jiaxun plays beautifully! i thought he didnt know how to play at first! out of school, celine went to find alicia walked to the bus-stop. that's my day! jogging later on. i'm like almost jogging everyday already? too stress? finished this post at 6.38pm

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

blogging again, instead of studying. what crap, in the previous post i still said i was independent enough to study myself, on second thoughts, maybe not. D&T almost everyday, but sooooo little improvements only. ohwells, need motivation. shall go find some while jogging later on. "Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find that you have crossed the mountain." tag replies: RAPIST! : you don't have to feel bad about anything. i will guess it someday! Qingyi : do i? too mature thinking le ba. girls are more matured than guys, and that's a fact. will tag often. RAPIST! : i vr y careful already. D&T gonna finish already, wont be cutting myself so much anymore! :)

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i don't know how i can keep getting myself cut. don't misunderstand this, i didn't cut myself PURPOSELY. not like what those crazy cowards that can't control themselves do when they stress out. two cuts by machines in the workshop, one from a penknife, and another one by a wire casing. how great, scars all over, ugly and unsightly, tsktsk. enough of hurts and all, CCA stand down already! no more trainings! like woah, finally, some time to study. but i doubt i will, i have no motivation at the moment. how i wish i can drop maths! i rather take history than maths lah. so damn difficult. damn it. ohwells, maths or no maths,life still have to go on. there's much more things to life than maths. actually i have a reason to post, but then, forget already, so post crap here.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

tag replies here. oldest to newest RAPIST! : no need sorry la. nothing wrong. no need so, err, self-reproaching. i still can't guess who that person is! brain failure! Qianyan: name spell wrong already:) i'm like that la, everyone got an emotional side de mah. Man get emotional too okay? just that they don't express it. arh, just pray that i'll get into team :)

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i don't know what's my parents problem. so fucked up and pissed off. they keep asking me to study and study, can't they see that i am? i don't need them to tell me what to do man. they should go pay more attention to my bro instead, he's having his PSLE, much more important than mine. i'm independent enough to study myself, go teach my bro his maths la please. everytime, when you all are free, you only bother to come supervise me, hello, i don't need supervision. and, when you are done supervising me, you pester me to coach my bro. hey, i already have difficulties catching up on my own work, do i have time for his? can't you all spare a thought for me? i'm not an octopus, i have no eight legs man. so what if i have eight legs? i only have one brain. i know, its part of my duty to look after him, but then, he's your son afterall too. take responsibility of him please. it's hard to be the elder one, trust me. those younger ones around, better be satisfied that you have someone older than you. argh, what am i talking, very random man. I must be true to myself, I must be True To Myself, I must be TRUE TO MYSELF!

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i'm finally clean, and un-sticky. tired. woke up at 6.30am, went for the PESS netball carnival, only until 5.30pm then reached school again? full day event man. and today, my performance sucked like i don't know what. mistakes, mistakes and mistakes, all over again. grah, i'm such an idiot on court today. i was only put in to fill the empty position. So many things have happened on court and I’m still oblivious, like a fool. and i wasn't being fast enough, the opponent got so free and so away, and i was still so, well, stone. arh, overall, the team played well, 2nd placing among over 20 schools, and we beat st.nicks by such a small margin, extra time, 3 goals. i really got to improve if i really want to make it into the team, seriously. “I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fufillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorous.” - Vince Lombardi

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

this week of holiday hasn't been very productive. although i finished most of the homework already. can't seems to start on my revision. There's this devil, telling me to go do some other things, and not sit down there and revise. i refused, and read. but,nothing enters my head. it's still as empty since i first sat down. things haven't been looking great lately, i'm sick and tired of the things that are happening, going to happen and happened.Sometimes, it's okay to let down your hair and go crazy for awhile, i guess. and stop all those reflecting for awhile. think like a kid, i used to think that mac donald was the biggest restaurant, and that big puddles of water are seas, and that chocolate are better than money,cos they can be eaten! and every male and female should hold hands and stuffs like that. things were very simple then. or maybe, just shut down my brain for awhile and stop thinking completely. i really need to get it all out of my heart and mind.But, I just can’t get myself to do it. I type, then backspace and type and backspace. I can’t come to terms with my current state. no point pouring out all my troubles here, it doesn't help. sometimes, i even forget how to cry.