Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

wow, what a bad day today, since this pathetic morning. firstly, PE. went for two rounds, but i was practically panting like a dog, when it's like only 1.2km? out of shape alr, cannot slack anymore during netball trainings, have to push myself harder alr, i dnt want to lag behind the others. no more slacking, serious. then, free games, since i was one of the few that's behind, so we're not having napfa, next week for me. have to train hard, and practise. but my pull ups, argh, my wrist, is hurts even if i hold a light weight, and there's possibly no way for me to grip properly, so i gonna get a bad grade for it, and probably get a silver only, when i hoped for a gold. everything's 5 points, except for one, can you imagine how ugly it's gonna look? hais, what a failure, i cant even get a gold for napfa, what's the use? and lastly in the TWO periods, i got to be scolded by someone that's doesn't get their facts right first. when i went to return the keys, up the stairs, when michelle had to ask me for the keys, i thought she wanted to pass the keys to mdm yau on my behalf, so i throw the keys LIGHTLY to her, but i didnt expect her to miss the throw, and the keys that fell onto the ground made a loud noise. mdm yau thought i was not in my right mood, and then started to ask me some questions that are so irrelevant, she thought something had happened, and i was angry, and vented my anger on her by throwing the keys. but, i thought she wanted to hlp me pass, so i threw it, so that i dnt have to walk all the way to pass it to her and then walk away again right? this is pure common- sense, but some teachers dnt get their facts right, and starts blabbering away alr. and in the end, bad mood for the rest of the day. and today, something seems to have woke me up. during drama, a question popped out, " have you ever reflected? " or something like that. i was suddenly in deep thoughts, but i didnt dared to think much, cos i might be too engaged in my own thoughts. but now, i have all the time in the world, and i spent the whole afternoon thinking through it. have i rly thought abt my own actions and the consequences behind it? NO. when i threw the keys, i didnt thought abt my actions and the effect. what a fool, i'm old enough to think, but i still made this kind of mistakes over and over again. and when i speak, i dont think how the other party will feel, and end up blurting out everything i have to say, but by the time i finally managed to think through it, damage had been done, and no amount of apologising can rewind time and take back the damage, and it's too late. and when reflecting is done, as time pass, promises and reflection done will be forgotten, and everything will end up going haywire, again, and blaming myself for the useless fool i've been. i've been twirled around many times, but this continues, WHAT A FOOL I AM! everytime, this kind of things happens. ARGH, ENOUGH OF THIS NOT THINKING BEFORE ACTING.THIS MUST STOP, AND SOLUTIONS HAVE TO BE FOUND FAST!

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

things are not going so smooth recently, i can't concentrate on anything, or to focus in what i'm doing, it's like, i just want to steer clear of people and just live my own life, just for this time being. moodswings i guess. i'll get better real soon, for i'm the master of my emotions, i control my own life. gah, i got to work doubly hard this semester alr, my grades are at the bottom of the pit, got to buck up. but there's bound to be distractions, and sometimes i really feel like giving up. i cant do well both in academic and cca- wise, and this shows what a fool i've been. and most of all, i'm demoralising myself, instead of finding motivations. sometimes, i really need some time alone to think abt all this stuffs, but work has been eating their way into my personal time, and i dont even have enough time for myself, and i've to go around pleasing people. and all those homework that needed much thinking draining out my energy, that i sometimes just plunge into my bed and fall asleep almost immediately, leaving out my prayers. make the best out of everything i have now, instead of grumbling how life is hard and whatsoever, i got to get on track and close the gap between me and the other runners...

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i deleted the previous post, cos i think it's a little haywire. so re-post again, a btr one. so, went to jes hse ytd, candice and her decided to practise their instruments, and i decided to tag along. upon entering, her dad was at home, greated him when he got to jes's room, i'm first you know? i'm ever so polite. and on-ed the comp. i was the one using even though jes was the one who on-ed it. and we watched some videos before they really started practising. well, not really practising lar, just blowing here and thr just right beside me. you know how lound a clarinet and saxaphone can get? real loud man, plus, it was irritating lar. and after awhile, we started playing games and those bombing each other kind lar. and ended up laughing ourselves mad.okok, enough of ytd's things, now today. school's as per normal, except both form teachers dnt seems to be here.so had some boring lit, and english.and science, hmm, interesting, i think i shall practise my art of spinning wth my left hand, so that i'll be allowed to do so in class and avoid ms tay's naggings. i shall consider, but it's hard, cos i'm right- handed. Sec1 Netballers: something for you guys, except that it's in chinese.train hard, play hard. 飘洋过海 我吃得起苦 相信天无绝人之路 现实有咒诅 梦里有祝福 有缘同舟 风雨共渡 顶着列热当空 眼底有迷雾 不能再让懦弱捆住 日子多坎坷 命运有变数 只盼久旱逢甘露 - 出路 Stepping Out theme song sung by 动力火车 quite motivating, except that we are not living in poverty so give thanks to that.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

hellos, third day of school.hah, so lag right, ppl first day of school blog liao, i third day then start.okay, let's start with new teachers and subjects. firstly, iap and D&T. iap, drama first, the teacher is so flat lar, practically nothing der, and jes and i were looking for something in her, *secret*.have to do reflections and stuffs, so serious for what, relax lar, so serious no fun ler. and then art, the teacher should be the drama teacher lar, talked so mush until i sian diao. lie on the table, kena scolded, then prop up with hand also cannot, stand up and then sat down again. so lame. and class started with dots and many dots and lines and circle and disappering and appearing and spikes and whatever lar, so lame. i dnt knw how to draw! and then D&T, lame also, everything have to draw draw draw, and think think think. my brain cells die ler lar. and the teacher sweat until his shirt have one heart shape lor. today arh, nothing interesting lar, just lessons and briefing. it was supposed to be for the performers only lar, call us there for what, just let us off right? all those crap by mr james, mr tan and all those lame teachers. i sit until butt cramp lar. sian diao, so started conversation lor, talked a while nia, then the mr james see and say the one with the red bag, and i was still going, is he talking abt us? no one replied though, all too scared liao, and the two guys behind me was playing with some bear figurine, a white bear, with correction liquid de, still draw the eyes somemore, waliao. aiya, i want sleep liao, cannot type so much, want do notes also haven do. slack until like that, sian lar, want holidays lor, dnt want all those teachers face. and, and, no netball this week! so cool, save energy. haha, gtg, tired man, byebye dudes. and its one minute before 12.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

match today, against Northland sec. not in shape today, didnt played well. my ankle and left knee pain, so cant rly run well. i know that is not a reason for the bad play, not a excuse at all. because of this, a few shots that shouldnt get in got in. no point finding excuses and faults now, think through the mistakes and play well next time. but the team's getting better, learning along the way. the team's starting to rock!

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i think my ankle is sprained. it's hurting right now, really hurting, thr's this short, sharp pain. but i alr iced it, so it's not swelling.maybe going to get my ankle checked tmr.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

and yes, training today. mrs ong's runs were okay. then mr lee arrived and did passes and ball handlings. short game afterwards, and jodie almost hit my kidneys out of me, to prevent me frm running out, she bang me with her elbow, wakao lor, pain man. playing against her is a torture. then suicide run in the end, my knees worked up, and i was running so pathetically lah, really, i wanted to die at that moment. after training, stretched. was standing down thr, and mrs ong had to pick on me again, saying i lazy and stuffs, ohwells, i should get used to it anws. and chiong back home. bathed and changed, nvr eat. then went all the way to orchard road, and to what shaw hse, to catch a movie, "the incredible hulk". was nice luh, catch it for yourself. the fighting and all, and the love, was damn nice! and byebye, i got to go and complete my stuffs, and it 11pm now.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

tagged by yuxuan to do this. so here goes: A)people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. B)Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. #1 If your friend betrayed you, what will your reaction be? not serious, will forgive.serious, i'll just forget abt that person. #2 If you can have a dream come true, what will it be? to focus on my studies and get into main in netball. #3 What will your dream wedding be like? to be married with animals, like in a zoo or what, just maybe. #4 Are you hungry? I'm never hungry, only thirsty. #5 What is your ideal lover like? caring, romantic, and easy to interact with #6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? loved by someone #7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love? if that person is still single, i'll wait for him, but if he's alr attached, i'll just give him up #8 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? wish him all the best with his gf. for he's happy, i'm happy. #9 Is there anything that has made you happy? i guess so. #10 Is being in college fun? i'm not even in college yet -.- #11 How do you see yourself in 10 years time? urm, i dnt wanna have false hopes luh. #12 Who are currently the most important people to you? friends and family. dogs, cats, any animal! #13 What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? yuxuan arh, good listener and a good friend! #14 Do you believe in miracles? maybe, but i haven experienced one yet. #15 Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor? married but poor. #16 What is the first thing you do every morning? change and bathe. #17 Would you give all in a relationship? yes, why not? #18 If you found out your love is flirting behind your back, what would you do? dump him and find someone better, i won't go crying #19 What type of friends do you like? ones that can listen to what i have to say, reliable and true #20 What type of friends do you dislike? boastful and those who look down on ppl, thinking that they are the best. anyone who wants to can do so.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

back, frm Pasir Ris park. went frm abt 12.30pm all the way till 9pm then come back. was fishing all day long, till almost sunburn, but i dnt think have. no fish today, dnt knw where they went. maybe they go china help earthquake ppl alr, or else slping. wad crap, me and my imagination. nvm, then my bro and i wanted to go to the super far but super big playground, so we walk and walk and walk, for abt 30mins then reach? so damn far lor, but then fun man, the cable thing with a wheel. and then the rock climbing and the spiderweb thing with the super long slide. and and the see-saw, and the swing.okok, enough of these, too much to type all out. alot ppl thr, some young kids play until cry.but then i was so good to help one kid up the cable swing, he's too small to jump onto it, like all the big kids like us do. and then i ran 4 laps, just to push that boy and get him moving, nvm, exercise for me to get rid of fats gained. played ard for an hour, then headed back to our "base camp". packed and went home. reach home ate and then use comp lor. like that is my day lar, tmr dunno going out to whr, that jessica talk halfway then offline liao. didn't even got to ask lar, kao lor. nvm nvm, shall not get angry over her.end here, nth to blog abt. byebye ppl it's 10:09 pm now.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i guess i'm back, i kinda got control of my emotions and made some promises to myself, and to be a better person.after one whole day at the beach, i sorted things out.i dnt knw why, whenever i'm troubled or have to do some thinking and reflecting, i will also choose the beach. and there's this very cool place, there's a rock for me to sit on, and then in front, have sea water, then can just put your legs into the water and sit on the stone and enjoy the sea breeze, and naturally, i will start to think of things i need to think.and finally, things are somehow resolved? .and at night, it dark and decided to go home, i feel sticky and salty, i think it's because of the sea breeze that carries salt with it frm the sea. that's the only bad thing. and when i got home, just after i've done all my thinking and reflecting stuffs, my dad had to give me such a scolding that i almost broke down and cried, i came home at abt 9pm, and it wasn't very late. he used such strong and harsh words on me, and i was shattered, really shattered, and so i went to my room and skipped dinner totally, for i did not want to face someone that left me something that scarred me emotionally. and i realised later, than my dad was in a foul mood, and took his anger on me, i gave up trying to talk back, and just be his ''chu qi tong''. why i'm always the one carrying the blame of others? especially his. he gets to do what he wants, and what abt me? i will be pinned down by expectations of others. and whatever i do, i always have to put him first, and when i dont, they take it out on me, for the sake of him.he's getting to be such a selfish brat with some attitude, i tried to put up with him, but then someone had to interfere and ruin all these, all he does is ask for things and order ppl around, and when i got fed-up and said '' can you think of others and not always asking for this and that? you are very selfish you know?'' and i was asked to shut up and just mind my own things, i'm trying to let him know how ppl around him feel, but my parents will always stand up for him, and i will have nth more to say. and when i do something slightly out of hand, a palm always land on my face, and i think not once on his. alright, i think i should shut up. no more complaining and stuffs. live with this live girl, bear with it.