Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

this blog will be dead for the time being. till the owner gets control of her own emotions. sorry readers, but still welcomed to tag, and i will try my best to reply.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

i am not as good as i think to be. i think, i'm good in particular things, but then, someone made me feel so , small, and useless. and i realised, that i'm not as good as i think. being so complacent and all, i tried, i already tried, but what's the outcome? still another failure. hais, i gotta buck up, on everything and anything, and most importantly, stop being so complacent and stuffs. we shall stp all these moody things alr. i dnt wanna get emo.haha. today, i shall talk abt today then. at 4, reached school to go 324A there sell food and drinks to ppl there, watching the performance being put up. went thr, ate our dinner,set up, and positioned the food. sold and watch at the same time, was nice lar. after everything we had to clear and stack up chairs, tear down flyers and pick up litter.and when everyone was busy these stuffs, their handphones and wallet were on the table, and the oh-so-good me, stood down thr to watch over their belongings.and then mrs ong had to come and asked me to pick up litter, and i explained to her that i was looking over the things, she said she would look after it, i told her no need, and she just stared with me and said i was lazy, and off i had to go to pick litter and stack up chairs. then, when everyone got back their belongings as they had to keep the table, someone asked me to help her take her handphone and wallet, and out of kindness, i helped her and stood there, since i had only one free hand, and could not help much, began to talk to Jodie also. and then mrs ong had to come again, and told me to go help pick litter, when there are no more, and i told her i had to take the valuables, and kept them clean, so cnot touch rubbish, and she said she would hold it for me, i say no need again, and she stared at me again and told me i was plain lazy, and i went to walk again, looking for rubbish. and i was soooo fed-up lar. okok, gtg slp liao, tired man,byebye

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

12.56am right now, in case the time goes bonkers again. not slping yet, cos i just cant get to slp, if cant get to slp on bed, i wil start thinking abt things, loads of things.and in the end, i cant control my emotions lar. did vry little things today, some homework and stuffs. but when are we going to do the chinese project abt a stall de? pls fix a date when everyone's fee.thanks, if not i will do it. tell me when you are free.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

edited! first day of holidays. was moodless. woke up at 8 am, had breakfast and went online, chat till like 12.30pm like tht. went to cook my own lunch, of chao fan. was nice lah, after all it was cooked by me! cook for bro too, since he's coming back frm MFPS after some extra supplementary programme lar, so good of me huh? then after lunch had some time, wad like abt 2pm. played checkers with my bro after lunch, since we were so sian of the television programme of dnt knw wad pig story der. finished two rounds of checkers. it was just then i realised it was alr 2.45pm, and netball training was at 3pm, and i had not even changed, tied up my hair, pin up my fringe, filled my tumbler, get my bag, wore my socks and shoes, and most importantly, i had to rush to school, in time for netball. and so i rushed to bathe, change into my pe attire, tied up my hair so hurriedly that it was still so messy, and wore my socks and just slipped into my shoes by force and chiong-ed to school. i sprinted all the way there. climbed hills and stairs, and ran across uneven roads, until i almost sprained my ankle. and when i reached the road across the school, i was almost hit by a car, he honed at me, and stop a few inches away, and i was so stunned till i knew neither to move on or retreat onto the pavement, and when the driver signalled me to go, it was then when i awoke frm my stun and moved on to school. i walked all the way to the parade square, still a little stunned though. and when i arrived at the parade square, i realised that training had not started, and i relaxed, thinking that my choinging is worth it. and so i watched them, shoot and played ard. and a little while after, ms tay came and asked us to run 8 rounds, but we slack, and ran 7 instead? after the running, cheryl arrived. stretched and drank. then, the lightning thing began to flash, and we cant go outdoors anymore, indoor instead. physical first. did something like a circuit. high knee lifts, back kicks, stairs, sidestep, criss-cross, high jumps. this were more of the normal things lar. something new, we had to piggy back our partners across a distance. my partner told me i won't be able to carry her, since she weighs a whole 50kg. i was, okay, i will just try my best to carry you over tht distance. try first. i was easy lar, since i was only 40kg, and she went quite fast lar, but then when it was my turn, she sure was heavy lar, but managed to complete it , one step at a time, without stopping. and the other one is when our partners will walk on their hand while we hold up their legs to our waist level. my turn first, it was raining by now, and the floor was slippery, and thr were many ppl stuck at thr, so i had to siam them, and in the end, i ended up in the wet part, and with my hands wet, i slipped lar.many times lor, but we still laughed. was quite easy lar, but some had difficulties. next my partner, she went quite well too, but her legs were putting too much pressure on my arms.when ppl were in front and blocking us, i went "siam arh, siam arh. thank you hor!" and ended up with cheryl hitting my butt.hahas, lesbians yea?but was quite funny la. hahahaa. came back liao went squeezing at the part under the window where aircon frm the general office came out. cooooooling. after all this physical things,we started with handling balls. did passes, had some small correction to mine.and had many other drills,then have test and stuffs lar.and , and my jumps are too low! i have to improve on tht. after all tht, was straight shuttle, had the push up ststem thing. and i was so retarded lar, cheryl not fair lar, every single thing wan catch, as if for fun der, did like 40+ like tht? or maybe mre. and some passes was too high lar, went like wonderwoman. hahaahaa. funny.was record holder for the most no, of push ups done. lol after training, went to get a drink with jodie. saw cheryl, asked her for change, she treated me in the end, and i returned her the extras, two ten-cents, and told her she can go to public toilets with that, she said i was rude, but haha. free drink. chatted with jodie for quite a long time, and went off when she saw one auntie that scolds was walking in our direction. and so reach home and blogging now.long post, happy reading, and congratulations if you were to finish reading. so ciaos, and the time of my posts are going bonkers.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

short post today, cos i've no time for another long post yea? sry. watched ytd's show? the one to raise funds for the china victims? it sooo touching, and almost everyone at my relative's hse cried and shed tears lar, except for my younger cousins, they just practically laughed out so loundly and continued with their lame game of london bridge. and they even wanted me to join in, wth? i kept rejecting them, they seems a bit dissapointed though, but for the sake of my touching show, i guess they will forgive me. and we all called the hotlines lah, and i wanted to donate, but was underaged, and so i asked my mum to call to donate for me, and i will pay her cash for it, so that this donation will be made by me. i call about three times, $18 ones lar, so in total is $54? but it's worth it lar. gtg, short post done. byebye.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

it pains me, seeing and knowing that ppl are in urgent need of help, and all i can do is to donate money and pray for them. i did what i could. homeless and parentless children, and lost relatives. stay strong kids, there will be someone there for you very soon. don't cry, don't be sad, to both parents and children. your loved ones will love you forever, even if they are with God, in heaven.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

human nature is to ask for things we need to meet our own needs. i realised, we, ppl, are selfish. but oh well, some are selfless, but thr"s only a handful of them. all we all know how to say is '' we want this and we want tht.'' but have we ever spared a thought to th ppl we are asking things from? all we need to say is "i want this" and we expect ppl to fufill tht for us and get us what we want, cheap things are still acceptable, if thr's a need for tht, money will put to good use. but what we want is just a want but not a need, and it's costly, the money earned by perspiration, strength and tears will be just wasted away, just for the three words tht we said, and to make us happy, behind the scene, they go everywhr, looking for the cheapest thr could be, to save the money and to fufill our request at the same time. now, i find my parents good, they do everything just to make us happy, but we don't know how to appreciated what they have done, we just ask for more, and take them for granted. i'm feeling so guilty, i realised how good my life is now, although i'm not rich or what, but most importantly, i have a complete and loving family, with warmth and care. not like some families who are rich, but then just neglect their child by giving them money, thinking that it will bring their children warmth and happiness. victims of the earthquake, stay positive, don't give up any glimmer of hope. and those who lost your parents, don't be sad, you will be reunited in your next lives, just live your remaining life strongly, remember them in your hearts. as i type this, i'm abt to cry, so i shall not type anymore, least i get upset again. but i will be praying for them, every moment, every second, they will be in my prayers.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

have not blogged for the past two days? was at Pasir Ris park since saturday morning, camped and bbq-ed there. elaboraton provided. on saturday morning, packed and moved the needed things to the void deck and onto the lorry, with two bikes and my rollerblades. then we went off. was so windy on the lorry lar, so shiok. then reached thr in about an hour? unpacked. transported the things and ppl with the two bikes brought along. i took things while blading, was not easy man, had to go the long way, cos my blades cant get across the grass to take a shortcut. then pitched the tent with my bro while the adults went to get the remaining things over. after everything was settled, went fishing, crabbing and worming. thr were hermit crabs, wanted to catch those, waited and waited for them to appear, but thr were much faster than me, i reaction slow lar. then went to catch sand worms, dug with the shovel until i hand pain lar, the sand so rough on the handle, somemre i no strength, had to use body weight to push the shovel down. caught some worms for fishing and for the adults' use. thought of using the shovel to catch the crabs. so went to try, see whr have the crabs then go dig, then faster catch, have man.so clever me, self- complimenting. evening liao, went to bbq. nobody wanted to start fire, so i go start. start liao no one want bq, so i bbq. the chicken wings by me ended up quite nice, everyone only know how to eat nia, haha. but then ltr have ppl bbq lar.then my turn to eat. eat liao and then cleared and washed up. cousin came, we planned not to slp tht night, go fishing and drink wine. one bottle to the two of us, so shuang. was fishing all the way till 3am, then sian alr, decided to slp. cnot take it liao. next morning woke up at 6am, cos hav to chiong back to sch for the CIP thing at the cc. go thr also waste time nia lor, what CIP, dont even have to do anything thr, just walked ard. went out of cc and chatted with the guys, and then someone ended up being jealous. haha. then at 1pm like tht can leave ler, went home quickly to bathe and off to Pasir Ris again. no bbq tht day, just playing and fishing again, plus blade-ing and cycling. went to E-hub thr, with my mum, bought sushi, drinks and chips for them. ate the whole time thr only, fat alr.then late liao went home by car, the others wanted the lorry, but i wanna slp in the car. have air-con mar.reached home and slpt in own comfy bed. today woke up at 8am like that. have to go to restaurant eat. meet up thr, the restaurant haven open for business! five more minutes to opening hour, cam whored there lar. then ate alot man, was hungry, is self-order one mar, then we ordered almost everything on the list lar, but service very slow. ate alot of crabs lor, chilli, black pepper and steamed ones. only i eating, cos others find it troublesome. eat liao then go walk walk, then went home cos my bro still has homework. so, the end.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

back to blog. went to play squash earlier on, was so shuang man. hit until my hand pain liao, somemre kena my leg also, haha, too long no play ler. had a partner leh, my friend so pro lor.i keep missing nia.so pathetic. results are out. maths, 56/100. english, 40/50 in total. literature, 35/50. chinese haven sum up. maths was horrible lah, but then, i alr know how to get over it, so i just sit thr lor, emo a little like tht nia. my next exam will be a better one, that's what i hope. but even if i still dont get the results i want, it's the decision of god. and i will accept it.no use crying over a fact right? victims of natural disaster: With at least 66,000 dead or missing and another two million in dire need of emergency aid. jesus, hlp them man, give the attention devoted to me on these ppl. hlp them first.i can wait. ppl are still trapped in the dark, waiting for help, thanks for al you've done, rescuers. you did your best. live on ppl, dont give up hope, jesus is there for you. have faith in him.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

geog and science paper taken back today. results? disasterous and horrendous. what i thought had came true. all the marks are like 60 plus like that? low sixty only lah. i alr studied very hard, really, but what my results that came out? just a sixty plus? i had confident of scoring well, but hais, i dont know how to express this. it's just of no use to study, i just can't score for exams, so wad's the use? i'm just another failure lah, i can't get anything right. since i alr tried my very best, but still, this is what i get. if my best is like tht, what's more is my worst? i just dont understand this. my hopes are all dashed, i'm demoralised, i admit defeat. when i stay up in the night just to get more facts stored in y head, wake up early to revise more, i just cant make it. no more hopes at all for my other subjects, i dont think any of my subjects will score, if any score, i really have to thank Jesus for it.are my hopes and expectations too high? and then end up hurting myself emotionally? i just dont understand. all the hopes pined on me are all destroyed, single-handedly. i dont wish to get signatures on my papers, for i know i'm gonna have an hard time. i admit defeat. all hopes dashed. i'm demoralised, you got what you want. the higher my hopes, the greater my failure. i have no more tears to shed. pause the exams for now on. Myanmar cylone's victims are there, searching for food, water and shelter.living such a horrendous life right now, and here i am, surfing the web and blogging when the ppl there are out of electricity and necessary things.living in temporary camps and hoping that their lives will get better.they didnt give up the courage to continue living and faced the disaster. and then there's China's earthquake. victims find themselves trapped under rubble and debris of collapsed buildings, they once had a happy family, but then in a matter of minutes, all these are gone, and they find themselves piled under the dark debris, only to think of their families and friends, and having the courage to live on under such conditions. so really sad for them, i feel for them i'm so glad to live in singapore, no this kind of things. next post will extend more. i'm gonna watch the news.just hope it get better.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

no school today.and so i stayed at home.obviously. had nth to do at home, and so went to the gym.prepared and so on. had a bar of chocolate on the way, delicious man, cadbury de leh. entered the gym. jogged and did some other things, mostly is leg workout lah. trained too hard i guess, my leg is hurting now man.i dont know how i'm gonna walk tmr. afraid my muscle tear man.haha. not likely. and then t1o pain liao take taxi home. waste money, cash fly away ler.haha, nth to say ler, i wanna hav my bro's ball back! damn teachers of the school. so kapo man, not their prob right?

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

exams are over! hahas. during the test i was very distracted, very. and because of the distraction, i didnt manage to finish the oh-so-easy paper. what a failure.i was still chionging at the last minute when ppl are all relaxed and just wait for the teacher to collect the paper. i really regreted looking at the distraction, i should not have bothered about it. but it's of no use to regret nw. after test.went out with a grp of ppl, included jes, candice, chu yu ning and puo yen.went to amk hub first, had our lunch thr.drank ice lemon tea and ate a curry puff. was spicy alright.then walked ard.after that went back to smwhr near school. decided to play soccer. and so the girls went to change our clothings.i brought my ball down, and then started the game.after a tiny weeny while, the crazy man tht destroyed our game tht day appeared again. we decided to disperse. and so jes went in chinese '' it's going to rain! let's go home.'' very loudly.and then, we saw two ppl running towards us, we were like drug convicts at tht time. was asked to run, puo yen ran. all of us didnt, my leg was hurt, if not i wld have ran too. but the security gave chase to puo yen, but didnt managed to. it's was of no point, he was called back. was sent back to school.hahas, was so cool man.stood in a straight line lor, then had our name written down. i wrote first, purposely write big big so that the teacher can see, the others followed suit.and then mrs seah came out and spoke to us, 1 demerit point each. no big deal. but my soccer ball was confiscated. went to the playground nearby, was worrying abt the ball. cos tht day my bro wanna play, no ball how?plus so many friends invited, no ball sure very pekchek der wad. then he tell my dad cham liao lor.played block catching aft that.was quite fun lah, cheered up a little.saw the madman again, so yu ning, candice and me ran away frm the block, leaving jes and siya. then they decided to go and watch movie, at amk hub.i went home. bathed alr, received call, asking my favourite colour and whr i stayed, frm yu ning. so i told him. half an hour later they came, and passed me a ball and went off hurriedly. i wanted to chase them, but my leg was hurting, so i went back home to call yu ning. i said i have no need for the ball, cos i dun kick soccer, and asked him to take back since he kicks soccer often.so can out the ball to good use. and it's no only him tht caused all these, it was all the six of us,so why should he be responsible for it? anyway, my ball can take back very soon liao wad, then the ball no use alr leh.but he insisted i keep the ball. hais, i dunno man.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

Happy Mothers' Day! to all beloved mothers out thr, including mine! ate at the restaurant today, in the afternoon, after coming back frm the beach. then went home and found out they celebrating ah ma's at home. old mother liao. so ate once more. felling fat right now. want eat shld say earlier, then we don't go out eat ler. then hav space mar to fill with food.so delicious lah.helped out in the cooking of french fries, was delicious man.very popular der, very fast let my cousin eat finish liao. then watch tv and chatted with biao ge till about 9 like tht, and he had to go home liao.so sian now.always enjoyed talking to him. alone at the beach today. and saw a few cute cats down thr, let them eat the fish frm my nasi lemak i bought. thr so hungry man.then gave them some of my rice, didnt expect them to eat at all. they finish eating liao down thr miao miao miao, then see them ke lian give them more lor, ended up with so little for myself.aren't i good? haha. okay okay, nth much more to crap alr.no mood liao, tmr have maths exam leh. don't plan to revise ltr on either.ciaos amigo.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

waited and still waiting. i shan't elaborate, if you got me, you got me.don't bother asking. heyo,back. from the gym.was there to vent some anger and to train and the same time? or was i thr just to spend the time. i thought alot thr i shld say.loads. but training was equally hard luh. i fucked up with life, rly. i dread Monday, the maths test. hais, rly nth to say.am waiting for someone. to pass time so i came to blog some stuffs. i'm going to the beach tmr, to feel the sea breeze and look at the vast sea and the ever blue sky.i just hope it doesn't rain tmr, God, just fulfil tht won't you? period. nth mre to declare.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

tmr's a saturday! tht means i can finally relax for a day and thn chiong maths revision on Sunday. i realised tht my maths do really sucks. since p4 i guess? all the while from p1 - p3 my maths all very good one leh, like almost full marks de, but then, i just guess the paper is rly easy. tht day, whn we had the maths paper 1, which ppl say are really easy, i didnt manage to do a few questions man, in the middle, i starting praying and praying, but then, hais. and started to write things on the rough paper meant for workings? i'm really a failure in maths.i read the question so many words i pekchek alr lor.nvm, shall forget abt tht. today, history and geog test together. survived. hist was first, and i feel tht the paper is quite easy lah, after much revision till 1am ytd. but didnt really studied for geog, and i think i flunk it, oh wells, nvm. the horrendous thought of getting back my paper and staring at the low low marks is beginning to haunt me.i shall not feel guilty, i tried my best alr.so, no regrets then. break before the geog test was as per normal. i didnt really wanted to join in the game, but the as soon as i stepped into the class with my packet of milo, a paper ball hit my head like almost immediately? was fed up, cos my head was filled with precious information for the test. and the hit from tht just knocked everything out, and i've to study again to get everything back in.and when i was studying, screams and laughter is so loud, just couldn't concentrate.and then another paper ball hit my head and everything came out again.went to take revenge on tht particular person which i cannot rmb who.and ended up, ppl kept throwing at me.everything knock out liao lor, tht explains why my geog was such a failure, because of the paper balls. and i shall explain this to my parents if they should ask me abt my results. geo test started after the game.faster went through the facts agn.making good use of time.read liao have to keep ler.then paper was passed down. prayed quickly for blessings.upon receiving the question paper and briefly reading through it, every question was so difficult! and so settled down to do lor, but in the middle of the paper, i was really stuck at certain questions. prayed again, for hope.and finshed off wadever i can rmb. after school drank bbt.and talked with jes agn. ltr, decided to go and play soccer.changed and went down.playing for some time, mayflowerians taking school bus arrived and began to play together.my bro joined in lor.so is 2 girls 2 boys.played for quite a long time, and it turned out quite crazy. was laughing and kicking at the same time all the way, against a guy man, so difficult kick. jes down thr laugh thn i down thr kick, kick until i want die le.kena tripped by jes, which was with me in the grp, whr got ppl kick own members de? after awhile some weird guy came and destroyed the game.jes so timid, find excuse want walk away, and escape. went down to the badminton court and the 2 guys went home.went to the exercise corner to play and chat for awhile then go home liao. and this, u don't have to bother reading liao.cos it's not important lah.so bye bye. i'm waiting for you to be online, but you dont seems to use the comp.or you are always busy and stuffs.i hope this will end after the exams, and things will go on smoothly.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

second post of the day, a short one. “It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

waiting and still waiting for the end of the exams, to have fun and relax.most impotantly, lower my blood pressure.under so much of pressure man, let's see, what's the fomula for pressure? mass divide area. hmmm, cannot calculate, cos i don't know my area. but fatter peeps have a larger area right? that will mean they have a lower pressure than us, the skinny-average sized people. i see, maybe i should go and eat till i've a larger area? no, tht won't do, i cant imagine myself being so fat! no offence to larger sized people.don't come find me. i don't know what i'm gonna do for the day.wake up in the morning and don't know what to do. so aimless man. maybe mug for the whole day?neh, i can't possibly do it.i can nvr ever sit down the whole day just staring at my books, even if there's someone forcing me to.i'm not made out to score academically, i'm just not,no matter how hard i study, there's also some question i don't know. and this friday, there's history and geog TOGETHER. i don't know how they plan the timetable man, brainless people yea? sure mix up the facts one wad, they don't know how we students feel. obviously because they are students, however, they are still students once right? wad the heck am i talking?crap? i'm gonna end this post here.cos i really got to mug. byes, and mug hard for the last paper everyone.

Histories <$BlogArchiveName$>

This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.